Man Auction

 A raucous event raises funds.

This piece first appeared in The Vermont Standard.

An energetic and boisterous group crowded into Barnard Town Hall last Saturday night. From the back of the darkened room, there were catcalls and shouts of “take off your shirt!” For more than an hour, amidst raucous whooping and hollering, the men of Barnard stood one or two at a time before the rowdy throng and offered up their services. It wasn’t that the normally level-headed and hard-working townspeople had lost their collective sense of decorum, it was just that they could not, or would not, contain their enthusiasm for their first annual Man Auction.

The event was the brainchild of Barnard Inn owner Will Dodson. “I’ve never actually been to a man auction, but I’d heard about it,” he said, “the idea is that we are making fun of ourselves,” while raising money for improvements at the town’s elementary school, Barnard Academy. The auction’s proceeds are earmarked to upgrade, and possibly contribute to expansion of, the school’s gymnasium/multipurpose room. “It has a lot of problems, it’s very old,” says Dodson, “it needs a new heating system and a new floor, the tiles over concrete are very unforgiving.”   The room is also too small, about the size of a half-basketball court, inadequate for school performances, which are almost always standing room only. And because of its steep slope, the ceiling cuts even more into the useable space, “the weekly pick-up volleyball game has some funny rules,” laughs Dodson.

Saturday evening kicked off with a silent auction.   The more than fifty items on display around the Town Hall perimeter included a matted and framed photograph by Linda Treash, a gallon of Prosper Valley Maple Syrup, a basket of assorted pastas from Green Mountain Pasta, and a Simon Pearce hand-blown paper weight and pen holder.   Gillingham’s, Dead River Company, High Altitude Adventures, and a number of other local businesses contributed services or gift cards. People wrote in bids for their favorite items while mingling and chatting. Among the most hotly contested items were a dinner for two at Twin Farms and three hours of gardening service from Sonflowers of South Royalton.

By 8 PM the 51 registered bidders and 100 or so spectators all clamored for the main event. The lights dimmed, the music blared, and auctioneer Chris Powers took the stage.   Dan Larmie and Dana Noyes got the action going with their donation of a half day of tree mowing service; the bidding started at $300 and ran up briskly until it settled at $1,000. Stan Butler followed up with a mule ride for two and a gourmet picnic; “what happens on the picnic stays on the picnic,” he said. Steve Cota of Lyme Pond Restoration wooed the ladies with the prospect of his auto detailing service. “Do you live on a gravel road?” he asked, “Are you all muddy? We’re going to put a shine on it for you!”   And John Tokarski of Applied Coatings sweetened the pot for his day of home improvement services by offering to wear his circa 1980’s leisure suit while doing the work. Bidding was fast and furious for Lee Resseguie’s will preparation service; Dan Moss’ donation of four takeout dinners from the Prosper Chicken Pie Supper sold at a substantial premium over their estimated $40 value.   Two items were so popular that the donors “doubled down.” Steve Hambsch agreed to up his offering from one shark fishing trip to two, and Will Dodson likewise donated two dinners for six at the Barnard Inn. The high bid of the evening, $1,900, was for a driveway grading and shaping donated by the Johnson brothers and Webster Construction. All 25 or so participants offered their entirely donated services with great good humor and enthusiasm.

At the conclusion of the Man Auction, donors, bidders and spectators boogied to the lively vibes of Bow Thayer & Perfect Trainwreck. “The evening was a tremendous success,” said Dodson, “everything went very smoothly.”

While Dodson acted as the event’s chief organizer, he was supported by a committee drawn from the Barnard Education Endeavor Society, the BEES. “They’ve put in a lot of effort,” he said of committee members, “we’ve been working steadily for six weeks at least.” Friend Jeff Morris handled publicity, and Spaulding Press gave the group a “great deal” on printing. “People have just been wonderful helping out,” he adds.

Before the auction, the BEES committee was uncertain about turnout, and about how much money the event could raise; $7,500 seemed like a stretch. At the end of the evening, though, the winning bids tallied to over $17,000. After expenses, that means about $16,000 for the school. “It totally exceeded our expectations,” said Dodson, “we’ll be sending out a save the date for next year pretty soon.”